the bachelor: episode two

Episode two begins with me wondering when the arrest record and mug shot of one of the ladies will appear online.

Andy starts us off with "Operation: Soulmate is about to begin" and one large grin. Someone is channeling Maverick, which makes me remember when Tom Cruise was endearing.

"I guess I thought it would be funny to fake an injury and get Andy's attention." - Tessa, after falling off the mechanical bull. She did open with the muffin joke, but surprisingly, I like her.

Andy - "I'm really excited to see what Stephanie pulls our. She's a gymnast. She has lots of talents." Such as? Seriously, my girl from Kansas stayed on the bull, and she was the only one. Kansas is regaining credibility after crazy Lindsay's departure.

"This is the kind of place where I think something magical could happen and possibly I could fall in love." - Amanda, about Los Angeles, reminding the world she is from Texas.

"I heard that you were home schooled." - Andy. Where did he hear that? Meddling producers! At least pass along interesting facts about the ladies.

"I'm conservative, yet open-minded." If the conservatives are dating fifteen women at a time on national television...it is for the grand purpose of Operation: Soulmate. He has pure intentions. Why else would Stephanie South Carolina get the first impression rose?

"I was in heaven with seven women in my arms, under the stars, on a roof deck on the Sunset Strip; it doesn't get any better than that." - Andy, embracing his multiple love theory again.

"Let's have some mimosas!" - Andy, to the ladies, before he told them they would be doing a mini-triathlon. Andy, do you always drink before swimming, biking and jogging? Has there been a scene without alcohol?

"She engages me, she challenges me, and that's really, really sexy to me." - Andy, on Tina. He sure pulls out endearing moments!

Would the casting directors of Beauty and the Geek please cast Susan and Erin. They are "soul sisters". Operation: Soulmate achieved!

"I'm a healer; I'm a doctor. And the thought of instilling some pain in people, it doesn't go very well with my heart and my mind." Andy, it's just a rose ceremony.

"Good evening, ladies. I just wanted to say thank you so much to all of you for taking this risk with me. If you don't get a rose tonight, it's just that maybe we don't have that connection, but I believe in true love, and that person's out there for you." - Andy, raising the eye-rolling meter.

During the rose ceremony, it's clear that Alexis (token virgin) has quite the twitchy nose and the evil eye. How pure are her intentions?

Another episode down, and I'm still sucked in. I'm rooting for Bevin, Stephanie Kansas, Tessa and Tina. I like Peyton too. Sometimes I even like Andy.

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